Like many families, ours is scheduled with academic and athletic commitments that create a typical amount of busyness, and sometimes stress, for all of us. As parents, we focus heavily on physical recovery for our young athletes after big games, long tournament weekends, tough matches or challenging practices.
That’s easier to pre-hab or diagnose right? If they are feeling tired, pain or discomfort, we suggest hydrating, fueling, stretching, massaging, resting, icing, compressing and elevating. We look at our own training and recovery toolbox to guide our kids through their post game healing. But what about their mental recovery?
According to acclaimed science author Christie Aschwanden, “The psychological component of recovery is under-appreciated among athletes…True recovery requires nurturing a recovery mindset…one that fully honors the body’s need to recuperate and senses when it’s time to chill.” She writes about the science of recovery in her book “Good to Go”, including the need for psychological recovery.
How mental stressors impact players
Physical activity and exercise can be highly taxing on the body, but we don’t always think first about the mental stress experienced with training, practices and ultimately the pressure of actually competing. Especially for young developing children, the actual attention and focus required to process tough practices and high pressure competition can be mentally draining for players at that age.
Writer Gretchen Reynolds explored that impact and she highlights the efforts of researchers at the University of Miami who studied the impact of meditation and mindfulness on athletes during periods of strenuous training. Dr. Amishi Jha, an associate professor of psychology observed the impact that extended periods of arduous exercise and training has on athletes. Their team studied the impact of meditation and mindfulness when used during prolonged, strenuous training. Dr. Jha concluded that mental training of any kind contributed positively to emotional and cognitive strains athletes experienced during the study. Mindfulness meditation was viewed as more helpful to athletes than merely “relaxing” to maintain their focus.
Practicing more mindfulness
We decided to include meditation more in our daily routine to help our players’ mental recovery and help us process what we were experiencing in sports, school and life. Our children participate in at least one sport most of the year, so there is usually a practice or games to recover from.
For me, meditation has always meant taking a mental pause. It can be in the form of measured breathing, taking a walk or just sitting quietly. Meditation comes in so many forms and different types of practices that resonate differently with each person. Our kids have been exposed to meditation before and we were excited to explore deeper with some new meditation practices. We all were interested in expanding our understanding of how meditation guides us to approach sports activities and life with a calming mindset.
The Challenge
I decided to embark on a short meditation challenge with our two kids where we meditated for at least 5-7 minutes every day for 14 days straight. My goal was to sample different meditation techniques / platforms and cultivate a routine of meditation practice that we continue throughout the year.
We used a different technique each night, many nights were recovery after tough games or intense practices. We chose to meditate in the evening about an hour before bedtime. We looked to create a consistent atmosphere by including a candle, dimmed lights and the kids usually opted to lay down. Many nights I also included the same short, music meditation piece with chimes that helped us start and finish with focused minds. While I had a list of sessions to test going in, I started to pivot to different options based on the kids’ moods, their responses to previous exercises and what I saw wasn’t resonating with them.
This post shares our experience and insights around the different techniques we tested. It’s a long one because I included all 14 challenge days, but I’ve briefly recapped all of the techniques we tried out, calling out our favorites.
I’ll start by noting that no compensation was provided by any app or meditation platform to trial or experience it. We already had a paid subscription to the Calm app that I began to use more after we initiated our “challenge” weeks.
Links to Apps We Tested
Key Conclusions
Here are a few conclusions before you read more about our challenge exercises. We enjoyed the different platforms and techniques, but my biggest observation was that mood and atmosphere leading into our meditation sessions had the greatest impact on how we experienced each night. Some nights getting middle school kids to stop and meditate was like herding cats. Especially when I was competing with Netflix, YouTube, Fortnite and the evening time that their device WiFi access ends for the night. Some of the best nights were when we made the time to meditate versus rushing to jam it in on a night already busy with school work, sports practices and bedtime routines.
The apps overall were fairly consistent, but the Calm app seems to be the one most used since our challenge. Ironically the Calm night wasn’t our favorite night during our challenge weeks.
We have incorporated the use of the apps into a more frequent rotation in our house and I look forward to building more positive, meditation habits. My children were definitely more responsive to guided meditations, particularly ones not guided by me!
Our Favorite Meditation Sessions
Working Mindfully with Emotions – Smiling Mind App
TECHNIQUE:
Sports Training Session: Working Mindfully with Emotions. I chose this 9 minute meditation session that night because it was very topical for us. One of our kids had a basketball game that evening ending in a tough loss. The game had generated a wide range of emotions for parents, coaches and players both during and after the game.
This was a timely and helpful meditation for us because it asked that we identify an emotion or situation that created tension. It then explained how we can feel the emotion and live with it, while not letting it make more tension or distract our mental focus.
THE VERDICT:
This exercise definitely resonated with all 3 of us that night. Youth sports can bring out so many different feelings and emotions in players, coaches and parents. I responded to this session’s principle message of engaging in how we feel not suppressing it, instead of feeding it. We use our breath to de-escalate how our bodies react in the moment.
Basically – feel all the feels…don’t resist them, let them be there, BUT stop and be AWARE of what you feel and where in your body you feel the tension and intensity of that emotion. You are accepting and observing the sensations. The session talks about living *with* the emotions and sensations, making space for how it feels to be there as you breathe in and out, anchoring with the breath. You are accepting and observing the sensations, not fighting it.
While this is perfect for our family after back to back game days that provoked some emotional responses, the principles of this meditation are applicable to anyone outside of the sports/training world as well.
Starfish Breathing – Self Guided
TECHNIQUE:
Starfish Breathing is conscious breathing that enhances inner calm. My son introduced me to it. Apparently the whole school practiced it over the morning announcements each day back in elementary school.
Using one finger, trace along all five fingers on the opposite hand with a series of inhales/exhales. Inhale at the top of each finger – exhale at the bottom. Repeat quietly for a few minutes. I led by quietly prompting the “inhale” and “exhale” cues. Breathing in & out the nose is suggested (modified for the mouth if your family has terrible colds like we did).
THE VERDICT:
This was easy to explain and easy to do. I found it was something that can be done subtly on the bench during a game or even at work when you need to take a pause during stress. It may work better with younger kids who need a stronger visual to guide their breathing through the exercise. I would recommend this for K-5th gr. My middle schoolers weren’t as engaged initially so I prompted them to close their eyes for the remainder so they could *feel* the inhale and exhale steps more with each breath instead of quickly tracing their fingers. It helped quiet them again and refocus their minds on the breathing through the exercise.
Mental Distractions – Stop, Breathe and Think Meditation App
TECHNIQUE:
We learned to raise awareness of mental distractions with the Lion Mind, a 6-7 minute session about learning to not follow distractions and focusing on the bigger picture.
The narrator opens with a quick explanation of the meaning of the “Lion Mind”. He compares a “dog mind” (easily distracted, chasing after and following every bone) verus a “lion mind” (the lion sees the distraction but ignores it and keeps his eye on the bigger picture). The meditation emphasizes the strong influence of returning to the breath.
THE VERDICT:
We all agreed this one of our favorites. The metaphor was relevant to the young athletes in our house. In moments like shooting free throws etc mental focus and a lion mind is helpful. Key take-away: Don’t let distractions snag your brain and distract your mind, but it’s ok if you do – just use the breath as the anchor to bring you back.
Sports Recovery Visualization – Headspace App
TECHNIQUE:
This 10 minute recovery visualization exercise is intended to be used after sports or competition. It’s the first of a 10-day set of recovery sessions available. We opted for the free trial of the app to sample meditations.
The exercise guides through a visualization session drawing attention to the parts of the body that may be tense from activity. Participants are asked to imagine a warm beam of sunshine shining down on their body throughout the session. Allowing it to wash over the body. As it does it replaces the tension and stress with a sense of ease and rest. The session helps the body feel like it’s replenishing and recovering.
THE VERDICT:
We enjoyed the session and I loved the sun visualization technique. After a busy 4 days of back to back sports practices and tough competitive basketball games in our family, it was a good night to reset before a busy week of school and sports starts again. We’ll be sampled different sessions on the app during the free trial to further explore their offering.
Forest Guided Meditation – Insight Meditation Timer App
TECHNIQUE:
Forest Guided Meditation is a short 5 minute meditation focused on guided breathing, mindfulness and body scan (quick mentions of relaxing hands and toes). It’s a very visual mental walk in the woods noticing trees, river, butterfly etc. We used summer pictures of our favorite local greenway as our pre-exercise visuals.
THE VERDICT:
This was my favorite so far because I love the outdoors and the narration. I wished it were longer. My son also got into this one and playfully asked if I should spray him with bug spray and sunblock him before we started (which of course I pretended to do!).
The Flashlight – Calm App (paid subscription)
TECHNIQUE:
The Flashlight meditation led by Tamara Levitt in the Calm Kids (Ages 11-13) section of the on the Calm app. We subscribe to the Calm app, so that did expand the options we had for meditation choices beyond what is available for free. This exercise is a guided body scan that takes about 8 min.
THE VERDICT:
The kids have used the Calm app more than I have and they really enjoy sessions narrated by Tamara so they were quite engaged with the Flashlight exercise. This was my first time using the app since we paid for a subscription. I also enjoyed her narration and I liked the way the exercise draws awareness to areas of tension or stress I was feeling as we completed the body scan and “shined a flashlight” on different areas where tension collects like our shoulders, arms, back, legs etc.
Snowman Relaxation – Insight Meditation Timer App
TECHNIQUE:
The Snowman Relaxation is a 7 minute guided meditation exercise that was labeled for kids. This relaxation session is a fun narration imagining you’re a snowman melting in the warm sun with engaging visual references to aid in the tensing and relaxing as your stress melts away.
THE VERDICT:
Both kids liked it and I enjoyed the voice leading the session. She was soothing and reminded me of a quiet talking Mary Poppins. Also got a positive review from the kids because it involved minimal effort.
Honorable Mentions
The Balloon – The Chopra Center Exercise
TECHNIQUE:
Breathing exercise, The Balloon. The Chopra Center had a great article recommending 3 Kid-Friendly Meditations Your Children Will Love. The Balloon sounded like a very visual and easy to pick up exercise.
I narrated our “Balloon” breathing exercise that included several minutes of breathing through your nose and filling your belly like a balloon. We tried standing for this exercise.
THE VERDICT:
“Your meditation is boring.” That is a direct quote from one of my kids, who were participating, but not loving my approach or my narration of the text that the article suggests. Apparently I was not the most soothing meditation leader for my first try and we all liked the two minutes of “silent” breathing at the end. Belly breathing exercises take practice as well so we definitely didn’t perfect it in one session. Also, getting them to stop everything and take the time to meditate with me was a little challenging, so getting into an evening routine is key. Lastly, standing for the meditation was not our favorite. Sitting or laying down aided in quieting our bodies and minds much more effectively.
Mindful Eating – Dr. Dzung X. Vo Guided Exercise
TECHNIQUE:
Eating a Raisin Mindfully is a 5 minute guided meditation by Dr. Dzung X. Vo, MD, FAAP. I discovered Dr. Vo’s approach to this famous mindful eating exercise originally popularized by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I came across it on Dr. Vo’s website mindfulnessforteens.com.
The exercise prompts listeners to think about and experience the act of eating with all of their senses. We borrowed a few raisins from a box of Raisin Bran to get started.
THE VERDICT:
“This was the most fun meditation and maybe the silliest” was my daughter’s take away after 5 minutes of contemplating a single sugar covered raisin. Lots of laughing for this one, plus offering them a food covered in sugar didn’t hurt. It helped us realize how our relationship with the foods we eat can be so different when we stop to be more mindful of what we consume. It was soothing to chew slowly and really think about what we were tasting it.
Preparing for the School Day – Insight Meditation Timer App
TECHNIQUE:
Preparing for the School Day, an 8 minute guided session that helps older kids take time to reflect on the upcoming day of school.
THE VERDICT:
This meditation was helpful for all three of us to take a beat during a busy school week. It probably is meant to be used in the morning before the school day starts, but we found it just as helpful to use at night to ground us on the upcoming school day tomorrow. An unintended result of the meditation was that it triggered both of my kids to remember homework assignments they forgot to complete earlier this evening. I missed starting and ending with the music to transition, will probably add that back.
Turning Our Energy On and Off – Go Noodle Video
TECHNIQUE:
On & Off Flow – We learned how to turn our energy on and off with this GoNoodle video for kids. The 4 minute exercise uses progressive muscle relaxation where kids are prompted to increase their awareness of controlling their energy through a series of slowly tensing and relaxing the muscles in their hands, feet, face etc.
It’s part of the GoNoodle Calming video series they offer free on YouTube. The collection of videos is targeted for kids in elementary school and middle school to “challenge kids to think, reflect, and set positive intentions for the day”. My kids both experienced GoNoodle’s fun educational music videos in elementary school.
THE VERDICT:
This session raised their awareness of how much they can control their physical energy. The muscle tensing replicated stressed, tense moments and showed them how easy it is to stop and breath so the muscles relax.
GoNoodle Calming videos available on YouTube
Mindful Walk – Smiling Mind App
TECHNIQUE:
A Mindful Walk is a 5 minute session focused on being mindful of the level of awareness of your body, breath and patience. We chose to do the walk in our neighborhood, early evening before the sunset.
THE VERDICT:
The content was good. My favorite point was the insight to accept impatience rather than reacting to it. The kids were less receptive to this session because the cold temperature was not conducive to relaxing for us. The session can be done indoors, but we chose to walk outside. It was 45 degrees near sunset and we weren’t really bundled up because it was a quick walk. Perhaps too chilly for a meditation walk in the winter.
Follow The Leader – The Chopra Center Exercise
TECHNIQUE:
The Follow the Leader breathing exercise from the Chopra Center is a slow breathing exercise, training our mind to focus and follow our breath.
Counting to 10 slowly inhaling and exhaling – the goal is to count on the exhale. Per the article: “The mind always wants to jump ahead, but don’t let it. Allow it to remain focused on being the follower.”
THE VERDICT:
I liked that this breathing exercise can be done anywhere to calm and focus their minds – before a game, after a hard practice, before a big test. Music, mood and a comfortable environment enhanced the experience for all of us; however, probably not the best idea to ask your middle school age kids to meditate 10 minutes before their WiFi access on their devices turns off for the night. They were engaged, but a little distracted and rushing the process to get a few last minutes of watching videos. I would try this exercise again paired with music and I am thinking about the flow of our evenings so meditation/mindfulness becomes a habit they want to keep up with, not an obligation because I am asking them to do it.
Starry Night Sleep – Smiling Mind App
TECHNIQUE:
Starry Night Sleep is a sleep themed session meant to help with the overwhelming feelings caused by stress, excessive thinking and a busy mind. The guided 6 minute exercise “will help you unhook from excessive thinking and prepare you for a good night’s sleep using the starry night sky as a guide.”
THE VERDICT:
“It made me sleepy.” The kids and I felt the breathing and visualization during the session worked to relax us.